Anger has its place.

There is a time for peace and a time for war...you get the idea.

Seems like my time to be angry lasted three months too long.

I have a great deal to be thankful for. My girlfriend and mom are in good health. They love me and I love them. I have a job, a roof, and clothes.

But when you are so mind numbingly frustrated, it becomes hard to take stock of all that.

I do want a better job, more money, a car, and a city that actually wanted to fix itself rather than put on a face. But being angry about it does no more than stress everyone out and leave me feeling sick and tired.

I still want those things, I want them badly, but I have to be patient. This is the first time the "want" for something was ever this bad. Yet, there needs to be an understanding...a logical look a the things that bother me. There are the things I want and can get vs. The things I want and have no control over. It requires some introspection to figure it out. And once figuring out, being able to accept it.

Patience is easy when you don't want anything.

Reckon that's why it's a virtue.

So now I'm in the South.

It's been a year since I wrote anything down...so let's recap.

- Got work as a bouncer, which was good money and fun. However I found myself falling in love with the party lifestyle...not that that lifestyle is bad, but it wasn't me.

- Moved to North Carolina. Charlotte actually. The Queen City, where ye queen has apparently left the management of her kingdom to a bunch of morons.

And here we are.

As you can see I'm having a great deal of fun. And by fun I mean I fight daily to control my anger like Bruce Banner . Only Ive got nowhere near the conditioning to destroy a whole city. Maybe a house...or a shanty.

No city is perfect. Not NYC, not L.A. Not even Honolulu. But at the very least those cities can boast some kind of identity. They are good at something and stick with.

Charlotte seems confused. And that confusion seeps into everything it does.

Charlotte wishes to be a big city, but hasn't yet understood that to be a big city, you need people. There are not enough of them here. There are dozens of construction sites each a few miles away from empty or disheveled houses that seem to be misused if used at all. Don't get me wrong, there are a number of parts of Charlotte that boast stunning homes and expensive neighborhoods. But they seem so exclusive that few would live there except the already well off.

You don't come here to make a fortune you come here after you've gotten it. That's very limiting.

And even were people to migrate here in large numbers, there is no place to go and now way to get around. You can get to other parts of NC pretty easily, interstate highways surround the city. Get in 85, and you can get to Virginia or Georgia in half a day.

But to move around IN Charlotte? You might as well clog a toilet and flush...just to see what happens.

There is more. Soooo much more, and I will write it.

Helps with the rage.

Carry on.